7 golden rules for living happily as a couple, according to John Gottman

Amelia Mia
4 min readJul 10, 2022
Photo by Allef Vinicius on unsplash

What is special about happy and lasting couples? John Gottman, one of the greatest relationship experts, teaches us the principles of a full life together.

Most people want to be in a lifelong relationship , but statistics show us that the likelihood of achieving this is very low. When the infatuation phase passes, many couples begin to have cohabitation problems and fight over everything and nothing. Criticism, indifference, defensiveness and contempt become frequent. If there is no mutual effort to improve the quality of life together, this difficulty in coping with problems can lead to a breakup or two people remaining together, but unhappy. On the other hand, there are couples who manage to maintain a solid and respectful relationship even in difficult phases. What do happy, stable couples do differently? Why do some couples thrive and others fail?

According to relationship expert and psychologist John Gottman, the secret to happy couples isn’t that they’re smarter, richer, or luckier in love, but rather that they’re emotionally smarter. They know the importance of respecting their partner, understanding each other, and constantly valuing the other.

In his book “Seven Golden Rules for Living Together” , Gottman, who is a professor of psychology at the University of…

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Amelia Mia

Writer, tools for thought,tips/thoughts/general hellos